Monday, August 16, 2010

7, 9 and 5

Where did summer go? It seems like yesterday when I made "the" phone call and sobbed hysterically on the phone over where Mckenna was going to sit at school. I can't say that I haven't cried since that day but I've tried to fill each moment with something to do to create memories which also included trying to make the time stop and avoid the inevitable.

We, or I, tiled our back porch, we celebrated a graduation, participated in All Stars and sports conditioning, more wisdom teeth removed, spur of the moment trips, signing up for college classes, purchasing items for college and lots of playing. No time for blogging and recording all our fun. I am certain I will have plenty of time in the near future.

Time didn't stop and the inevitable has finally arrived.

In 7 days, Mckenna will start Kindergarten, heart wrenching, she's a big girl now. 9 days after that we will take another trip, across the country to take Jessika to Idaho. 5 days later we will fly back to Florida and leave Jessika behind, in her own apartment, heart wrenching, she's a big girl now.

Life. Will. Be. Different.

I try to imagine how my days will be filled after September 8th. I will have 6 hours and 15 minutes to do WHATEVER I want to do. Alone. I am not going to lie, some tiny little part of me is a little excited, but the bigger part is just plain sappy. Sad and happy all at the same time.

Life. Will. Be. Different.

My house will stay cleaner. The house will be quieter. I'll be able to finish a project without being interrupted by playing games, being told a story or telling a story, watching or listening to Nick Jr.. I will be able to be more efficient when I shop. I will be able to save money because I will have the time to look for better deals and use coupons. I can go to Home Goods, Ross, TJ Maxx and Marshalls and look as long or as little as I want. I can go to the gym and workout as long as I want. Mike and I can go out to lunch when he's in town. As I am running errands during the day I'll be able to listen to whatever radio station I want to listen to without looking for a "girl song". I'll be able to keep up with my blog. I'll learn what Skype is and how to use it so that 2,446.09 miles won't seem that far away. Yes, that is exactly how far it is from our front door to Jessika's front door.

As heart wrenching as the days ahead will be I have convinced myself that life. will. be. just. fine.

4 comments:

For the Love of French said...

cuz you can play with our baby in March when it is born!

Amy said...

oh, allison!!! that is really heartbreaking! maybe you can trade some of your sadness for some of the JOY that I am anticipating when my kids go to school :) I'm sure i will feel differently when I get there with my youngest. Hang in there! and you always have merin (at least until she gets too big, too!) you are such a good mom and jessika and mckenna know that and love that about you no matter where they are.

All the good... said...

You even made me cry! I am going to plan a trip to Idaho, sometime in the school year, just so that I can check up on Jessika and make sure everything is ok. You are the greatest! You have taught her well and she will do amazing things with the rest of her life!

Becky said...

It's hard letting our kids grow up! I was just talking about that with my new daughter-in-law's mom this morning. But it's part of OUR growing up! You'll do fine when the day actually comes.

And when you figure it out, let me know the secret of how to make all that "free" time work. The list I made (over ten years ago!) of "things to do when Michelle starts kindergarten" is just growing, not decreasing.